have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Boobs speak an international language.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
