Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
