whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize