I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
