I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
