sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think your dad took our porno
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
