You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
