i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
