I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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