ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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