Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
