my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
no you cant smoke seaweed
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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