I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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