Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
