May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
