Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
