So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize