sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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