PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
