i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
