I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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