loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
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