My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
