Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize