and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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