Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
