i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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