I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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