THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Randomize
