I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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