And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
