Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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