Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Randomize
