so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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