"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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