Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
