I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
