I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
