my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
