I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
