seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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