I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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