Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize