this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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