I wanna passion pit in your ass
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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