just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We talked him into tasing himself.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
