I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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