Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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