4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize