I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
