Don't make out with my wife yet
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
