dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
