At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
