I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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