You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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