We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
