Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
