I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So squirting runs in the family.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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